Women – Gingersnaps

Almost … but not quite.

February 10, 2019March 27, 2019https://gingersnaps.wordpress.com1 Comment

“Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty.” – Mother Teresa

Have you ever experienced the “Almost … but not quite”? You almost made the team, but not quite. You almost got into the Honor Society, but not quite. You almost crossed the finish line first, but not quite. You almost passed the test, but not quite. We can all think of times we had an “almost … but not quite” scenario. We wanted something so badly, but we just missed the mark.

It is a frustrating, disappointing and heartbreaking place to be.

Now imagine being almost part of a family, but not quite. Feeling unwanted. Given a place to live out of obligation. Sitting on the fringes of the family circle. Nobody rejoicing in your successes. Nobody helping bear the burden of your hurts and disappointments. You are just the niece. Just the cousin. Just another mouth to feed. Just a burden.

Ntsibeng Shete is a 21-year old Sotho girl whom I met 2 years ago (January 2017). At that time, she was in her metric (senior) year at Concordia High School in the Knysna Township with her hopes set on attending university. She and I worked together after school navigating through Life Science.

(Side Note: Sotho /su:tu is one of many tribes in South Africa. The sotho people speak a language called Sesotho. It is one of the eleven official languages of South Africa. This is Ntsibeng’s native tongue. She now speaks Sesotho, Isixhosa and English).

Born in 1997 in the Mtata Township on the Eastern Cape, Ntsibeng’s life began with tragedy. She almost had a dad in her life, but not quite. Two weeks after she was born, her father died of complications from diabetes. She would never get to know a father’s love.

Instead, her family would be all women… Ntsibeng, mom and grandma. A common family unit in South Africa’s Townships. Absent dads. Present grandmothers.

This could and should work. It did for six years. Then Ntsibeng’s mom grew restless and decided it was time to make a change. So she did. She moved several hours away to the Western Cape and left Ntsibeng behind. Yes, she left her 6-year old daughter behind. Ntsibeng felt abandoned.

For the next four years, Ntsibeng lived alone with her grandma. Although she longed for her mom to return, Ntsibeng loved her grandma dearly. “She was my everything”, she said with a big smile on her face.

Little did this young girl know how drastically her life was about to change in 2007. She was 10-years old and excited that her mom decided to return from the Western Cape. What she didn’t know was that her mom was very ill. She had contracted HIV and TB while away. She had also given birth to a son who Nsibeng knew nothing about. A 4-year old little brother.

As she began to process these new life changes, the return of her mom and the introduction of a younger brother, Ntsibeng’s grandma was diagnosed with and died of breast cancer. 2007 proved to be a very emotional year for such a young girl. A roller coaster of emotions. Heartbreak in the loss of her grandmother. Joy in the return of her mom and new brother. Ntsibeng was still so young. She believed things would be OK. They would begin to live as a new family unit.

Or would they? “Almost … but not quite.”

In July of 2008, only one year later, her mom got worse. Ntsibeng, 11-years old at the time, remembers her mom telling her to go find someone to help. She ran out of the house to find a neighbor, but when she returned, her mom had already passed away. Ntsibeng honestly believes that her mom sent her away so that she would not watch her die. One final act of love from a mom with whom she had spent so little time. A relationship almost mended, but not quite.

Funerals are expensive. Especially to those living in poverty. To pay for these expenses, the relatives had to sell the grandmother’s house. This in turn left an 11-year old girl and 6-year old boy with no place to live. What would happen next? The decision was made to separate the sibliings. Baxolele (her brother) would remain in the Eastern Cape and live with his grandmother’s sister. Ntsibeng would be sent to the Western Cape to live with her mom’s brother and his wife.

With so much chaos, turmoil and uprooting in her life, Ntsibeng missed a lot of school. She arrived in Knysna in 2009, and almost passed grade 4, but not quite. She would have to repeat.

The years moved along. Life in her uncle’s home was hard. His wife refused to accept Ntsibeng as “their” child. They had their own children. Ntsibeng was just the niece. A “Cinderella” life style ensued. Ntsibeng felt like the unwanted outsider. Made to do all of the chores while her cousins played. Foster care money was received, but not spent on Ntsibeng. She still remembers having no clothes that fit. “When I moved up to High School (grade 8), I still had to wear the primary school uniform for quite some time,” she said sadly. It was embarrassing for her.

Finally in 2014, when entering grade 9, Ntsibeng was able to convince her mom’s sister to allow her to live with her family in the same township in Knysna. Baxolele joined her there (from the Eastern Cape), filling the 2-bedroom concrete block home with 9 people. Ntsibeng and Baxolele were sent to sleep outside in a wooden shack with no water or electricity. Unfortunately, the same “Cinderella” life style began to unfold for her. After all, she was once again, just the niece. Her aunt and uncle had many of their own children to care for.

The concrete home.

Inside the 2-bedroom home.

Ntsibeng watched her cousins participate in extra curricular activities, but to her, the answer was always “No, we don’t have enough money.” It was made clear from the start of her matric year, that they would only support their daughter to University.

Ntsibeng’s shack.

Inside Ntsibeng’s shack.

Ntsibeng started to flounder. What would she do now? She wanted to continue her education, but was not accepted into University for 2018. Her marks were almost high enough, but not quite. She knew she had to rewrite two of her courses in order to apply again for 2019.

Since that would be at the end of 2018, she decided to get a job to get her through the year. She saw an ad for a job at the hospital at the information desk. She applied, interviewed and got the job.

20180315_080804 — Ntsibeng dressed for a job interview.

Ntsibeng struggles with feeling loved by family. Although she was fortunate that relatives allowed her to stay with them over the years, she never felt as though she was looked at as “their” daughter. Instead, she was always an outsider. Almost part of each family, but not quite.

This year, Ntsibeng was accepted to the University of Fort Hare in the Eastern Cape. She almost started her college career, but not quite. She panicked. She had never been to see the University. She knew she would have to look for accommodations. She had nobody to counsel her or willing to go with her to sort things out. She could not get herself to make the 6-1/2 hour trek there with so much uncertainty. So, she didn’t go. A missed opportunity. A setback for another year.

Ntsibeng is a sweet girl. She continues to bounce back from life’s disappointments. This week she has applied to and is training for a server job in a restaurant. She knows that her aunt and uncle want her out. If she lands this job, she just may be able to rent a shack of her own.

Hopefully next year, 2020, Ntsibeng will be a University Student. She does not need another “almost … but not quite” year!

Opening Their Hearts and Home

March 31, 2018March 27, 2019https://gingersnaps.wordpress.com1 Comment

“It’s not the size of your house that makes a home… It’s the size of your heart.” ~Jane Lee Logan

In June 2017, Maria and her husband Freddy opened their hearts and home, doubling the size of their family overnight. They have six children of their own. Yet in June, they agreed to take in six of Maria’s cousin’s children who became orphaned.

unnamed-6 — The orphaned siblings with Maria and Ella. Frederick, the oldest did not move to Knysna.

Maria grew up in the Eastern Cape of South Africa. At the age of 20 years old, she had her first daughter with a man to whom she was not married. Then 3 years later, she had her second daughter. Maria is a strong woman and began raising these girls on her own.

At the age of 26, she met Freddy, the man of her dreams. They fell in love and were married. They just celebrated their 26th wedding anniversary! Freddy is a good man. He has always worked hard to take care of Maria and their children. For years, the only work he could find was in Knysna, two hours away from his family. He moved there to work and traveled home when he could to see his family. This is so typical of families. If the father is still involved with the family, he may have to live in another town to work, only seeing his family on occasion.

While he worked in Knysna, Freddy stayed with Maria’s sister. She lived in an area of the township that was very underdeveloped at the time. No roads. No concrete block homes. No water. No electricity. This was now Freddy’s home away from home. He would work all day long and often help neighbors at night and on the weekends. He is a handy man. Someone who can fix almost anything. And he is always willing to help. One neighbor took notice of his kindness to the community. She starting talking with him about his work, his family and his plans. She wanted to know if he planned to move his family to Knysna.

Of course Freddy would love to do that, but where would they live? He and his wife had six children! The woman was full of compassion. She told Freddy that she wanted to give her land to him so that he could move his family to Knysna. A piece of land full of brush and vegetation. No buildings. So much potential. Wow.

Freddy couldn’t wait to tell Maria. But she held back her excitement. She had concerns. She didn’t know this woman. What if they accepted the offer, built a home on the property, and then the woman turned around and took the land back. Valid concern.

Freddy returned to Knysna a few days later and addressed Maria’s concern with the woman. She so wanted to give them this gift. She insisted Freddy go with her to the magistrate where she signed the land over to him. It was now legal. No strings attached. A priceless gift. Maria and I both agree… a true blessing from God.

Freddy got to work building his family a wooden house. Actually one that feels large inside because he designed it with high ceilings. When it was finished, the 8 of them moved in. The home had a kitchen and two bedrooms. No bathroom.

unnamed-5 — Maria standing in front of the Wooden home Freddy built 13 years ago. The blue RDP house is in the back.

Life was good. Not easy. But good. They were surrounded by bush. No roads. No running water. No electricity. No sanitation. But they were all together again! Within a couple of years, that part of the township (Dam Se Bos) began to develop. The government brought roads, water lines, sanitation and electricity to that area. RDP homes (Reconstruction and Development Programme) were being built. A few years ago, Maria and Freddy qualified for their small government home (2 bedrooms / 1 bathroom). This now stands directly behind the wooden house.

Side note: The RDP program was initiated by the ANC Party under the leadership of Nelson Mandela. Poverty is the single greatest burden of South Africa’s people, and is the direct result of the apartheid. As part of this program, people in poverty have the opportunity to receive a free home. Those eligible must meet these qualifications: Must be a South African citizen; over the age of 21; married or living with a partner OR single with dependants; earn less than R3,500 ($295 U.S.) per household per month. The problem is that it can take years before your home is built. I know some people that have been waiting 15-20 years.

This brings us to June 2017. Maria got a call from family members telling her that her cousin had been murdered. She was stabbed in front of her home, in front of her children. She was an alcoholic and apparently got into an altercation with another woman, leading to her death. Six children were now orphaned. Their mother was dead and their alcoholic father had been murdered (stabbed) a year earlier. It is so hard to imagine what these children went through in that household.

Maria, who didn’t really even know the children, was begged by relatives to take them in. If Maria did not take them, they would be separated and put into foster care. She did what came naturally. She prayed.

Maria felt God tugging on her heart. She must give these orphans a chance. So off she and Freddy went to pick up 6 more children to join their family.

unnamed — The youngest sisters recently orphaned.

Maria’s two oldest daughters had already moved away. One lives in Capetown and one lives in Johannesburg. However, they each have one child a 4-year old girl and a 2-year old boy that live with Maria and Freddy.

If you are trying to keep a head count, here it is… In the household resides: Freddy, Maria, 4 of their children (3 in high school and a 25-year old who just had a baby), 3 grandchildren and 6 of her cousin’s children. A total of 15 people. 4 bedrooms. 1 bathroom. Yes, 1 bathroom. Things are a little crowded, to say the least.

Maria and her newest grandson, Favian.

Maria’s grandson, Davian.

Not only that, the financial struggle is very real. Freddy has a maintenance job (actually in the neighborhood where we rent a house). He works hard all week long and then pastors a church in his community on Sundays. I don’t know Freddy’s salary, but it would be typical for him to make around $17 U.S. per day. He is the only bread-winner in the home.

Praise God my friends Penny and Ella (Emzini Tours), who I mentioned in the blog posts “Unprotected-Part 1” and “Unprotected – Part 2”, have partnered with Freddy and Maria to help provide for the orphans. They pay for school uniforms, transport to school, school fees and some food expenses. It is a necessary blessing for the family.

To help Maria and Freddy with space, Kurt and our friend Don have been teaching a group of 8 guys basic carpentry skills. These boys did not complete high school, some cannot read. This was an opportunity to teach them some basic skills to hopefully make them a little bit more employable. Their final project was to build a 12 X 12 sleeping room onto Freddy and Maria’s home. This gives the family space to move 4 -6 of the children into a room of bunk beds.

unnamed-28 — The finished sleeping room.

The project was amazing. Not only did it give Maria’s family more sleeping space, it was such an exciting accomplishment for the young boys in the class.

Freddy and Maria are Christians. Maria praises our Savior all day long. It gives me such joy to visit and see her love for our Lord. Together this couple teaches their children kindness, compassion, love, grace and mercy. They instill in them the importance of an education. Maria told me that in her house, nobody is allowed to drop out of school. They are raising these children to be good productive members of society.

Because Freddy and Maria opened their hearts and their home, six children have a new lease on life. I am thankful that they obeyed God’s call on their lives. Well done good and faithful servants! ~Tracy Cooper

A Lesson in Patience

March 13, 2018March 27, 2019https://gingersnaps.wordpress.comLeave a comment

“Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting.” ~ Joyce Meyer

I spent a day in a South African hospital last month, with my new friend Siphewe. I had the opportunity to meet her when I arrived this year.

Siphewe was involved in a car accident in the Bongani area of the Township on December 24. Christmas Eve. She had put herself in a compromising situation that unfortunately left her with painful consequences. With 6 people crammed into a car, no seatbelt and a driver under the influence, the car in which she was traveling struck a concrete wall. Siphewe was thrown around and broke her back. She was the only one injured.

Afraid he would be in trouble with the law, the driver and the other passengers removed Siphewe from the car, called an ambulance and left her on the side of the road. These people were her friends. Or so she thought. The police were not called. No report was made.

Siphewe woke up in the Kynsna Hospital with no recollection of what had happened. Her friends tried to convince her that she fell down a flight of stairs. They did not want their secret revealed. And although Siphewe lay there on a hospital bed with a broken back, her friends continued to cover for the driver. She eventually started remembering the events that took place before the accident and was able to put the pieces together.

I met Siphewe in January, because her family had been struggling to have enough food to eat. She is a 30-something year old woman with her elderly mom, an 18-year old daughter, 18-year old nephew and his pregnant girlfriend, and 21-year old niece all living together in a 2-bedroom concrete home with a shack in the back. Because of her broken back, Siphewe was unable to work. Therefore, shy on money. I was asked to deliver some food to her family.

The day I met Siphewe, I liked her. She is very sweet. Quiet. Kind. I could tell she was in pain as she sat on the couch with a back brace, softly talking with me. She had just been released from the hospital the week prior to our meeting. As we talked, she mentioned that she was scheduled for a follow up appointment at the Hospital in George (1-hour away). I told her that when the time came, I would be happy to drive her. I couldn’t imagine her riding in a packed taxi with a broken back. (A taxi is a 15-passenger van)

Well… my experience in the South African Public Hospital was a true lesson in patience!

Here in South Africa, 84% of the population (45 million) poor, mainly black women, men, and children rely on government health care. People pay for services based on income. These state facilities are often over-burdened and under-resourced. The remaining (9 million) people are medical scheme members (those with medical insurance). These people have access to good but very expensive private hospitals. These centers are more efficiently run and less busy. The quality of care in this two-tier system varies drastically.

I experienced the first. A government run hospital. And it was like nothing I have ever seen.

Siphewe had a scheduled appointment with a doctor at the hospital for 8:30 a.m. I picked her up at 7:00 a.m and we drove a little over an hour to the hospital in George.

I parked the car and we walked in to the main lobby before 8:30. We were on time. But it didn’t really matter. It was packed! At least a hundred people or more were already waiting. Then I noticed the strangest thing. Everyone that was seated would get up together and move to the next seat. Over and over again. It was a huge queue of chairs. So, we got in line. Sitting, standing and moving over to the next seat at the appropriate time with everyone else.

After 1-1/2 hours, it was finally our turn to go up to the desk. We made it! Little did I know that this line was just to pick up her file. Next, we were to go upstairs to see the doctor. Ok. Good. Let’s go.

As we got off of the elevator, there was a line of people in wheelchairs down the hall (in the wheelchair waiting area). We walked past them to enter the waiting room full of dozens of people again! I looked at Siphewe, I could tell she was hurting. After all, she has a broken back!! We found seats and sat there quietly as did everyone else. Waiting our turn. Waiting our turn a little longer. Waiting our turn even longer. Then her name was called… 4 hours later. Yes, 4-hours after getting upstairs to where the doctor’s office was located, her name was finally called. Woohoo, here we go. Siphewe walked into the office, closed the door behind her and was back out within 2 minutes. What? How can she be finished already? We waited 5-1/2 hours for a 2 minute exam?

Haha. No. “We must go downstairs to get an x-ray”, she told me in her quiet voice. Well of course. I figured she would need one. This was, after all, a follow-up for a broken back. Really? They couldn’t have sent us to x-ray first? It took, at this point, a 5-1/2 hour wait for a doctor to tell us to go get an x-ray.

While I was trying to be patient, Siphewe was patient. This is how things are done here. Nothing out of the ordinary. Go from this line to that. Sit, stand, move over.

Downstairs to x-ray we go. You guessed it. Another line. This one was only 1-hour though!

My patience was really running thin when I found out that our next step was to go back upstairs to see the doctor that we had waited so long to see earlier. He needed to look at the x-ray and determine what to do next. What if we have to wait another 4-hours for him? Fortunately he only kept us waiting for about 30 minutes this time. He prescribed some pain medication for Siphewe and basically told her it would just continue to heal on its own. To keep wearing the back brace and return in another 6-weeks. Wow, all that time for the doctor to say, keep doing what you’re doing and come back and repeat this process again soon.

More than ready to leave, I escorted Siphewe back downstairs to the main lobby. Before we got to the front door, she said we needed to stop at the pharmacy in the hospital to get her medicine. I bet you can guess what I saw when we got there. Yes… another line! One more hour of waiting.

unnamed-6

8-hours for a scheduled appointment.

As I sat there agitated and frustrated with this ridiculous process… Siphewe, the one with a broken back and in so much pain, exhibited patience and grace. She had received care. That is what mattered.

Sitting, standing and moving over a seat. Never complaining. ~Tracy Cooper

God-size Dreams

March 8, 2018March 27, 2019https://gingersnaps.wordpress.com2 Comments

“God would not have put a dream in your heart if he hadn’t already given you everything you need to fulfill it.”~ Joel Osteen

I must admit, often I feel like I am living in the book, “The Help”, when I am in South Africa. IF employed, most black african women and coloured women are employed in some capacity of the service industry… Often as domestic workers (or as we would call cleaning ladies/house keepers).

It hits me in the face as I leave our “gated neighborhood” in the morning and see lots of women of color getting out of the taxis on the other side of the gate. (When I talk about taxis, these are 15-passenger vans that travel to and from the township to town. They generally cost riders about $1-$2 per trip). The women come by the dozens from the township, as there are about 600 homes in this neighborhood. And many employ domestic help.

The ladies show their credentials at the gate, sign in and then begin their walk to the home where they are employed. It is a strange 1960-ish site.

unnamed-14 — Domestic workers walking to the home of their employers in the morning.

These women are all domestic workers. A job coveted by the many that are unemployed. A job that pays about $12 per day. That was not a typo. $12 per day, not $12 per hour.

At the end of the day, the taxis do not return to the entrance gate of our neighborhood for pick up. Instead, the women must walk 1-2+ miles to the “Taxi rank” in town to get a ride back to the township. That is just the women in this neighborhood. It all depends on where someone works as to how far their trek to the taxi rank may be at the end of the day. Rain or shine. Hot or cold.

I’ve watched this for years now. It just doesn’t get any more acceptable to me. And although most of these women are grateful for the job, it doesn’t make it any less oppressive.

This brings me to my friend Thokozile (Thoko). A black South African Zulu woman I had the privilege of meeting last year. And a domestic worker in our neighborhood.

Thoko is a faithful Christian woman raising two sons on her own. She is an amazing mom to her boys and has taught them to be polite, to do well in school and be grateful for what they have. Several years ago, when Thoko moved to Knysna, she knew she needed to have a stable place for the boys to grow up. She saved a little bit of money each payday to be able to purchase her own small home in the Concordia Township. Since then, she has saved diligently and added on to her home, making it comfortable for she and the boys. This was/is a project that takes years. Instead of putting herself in debt, Thoko hires someone to do what they can as she has the money to pay for it. The total project is not complete, but it is really coming along. She has been doing this on a salary of $16 per day.

I have never heard a mean word come from Thoko’s mouth. Not a complaint. She is always smiling, encouraging, and inspirational. She loves the Lord and she loves her family. She is joyful. She is smart. She is sweet. I can go on and on about Thoko. She is my friend and I have great respect for her.

The reason I met Thoko was because our passion for working with girls in the township intersected last year. I launched a program for girls in 2016 called Girls Talk (Please read the previous post “Girls Talk”). At that time, I had three women agree to work as a team and lead the group of girls on Saturdays. It was a great experience for both the ladies and the girls; however the leadership team was burned out by the end of the year.

unnamed-19 — Thoko wearing her credentials while walking her employer’s dog.

As I got ready to fire up the 2017 Girls Talk group, I was without a leader. Some good friends of mine knew Thoko and suggested I contact her. She agreed to come to the information meeting and volunteered right there on the spot to be the 2017 leader. This was an answer to prayer. As I mentioned earlier, Thoko does not have daughters. She works full-time as a domestic worker and is raising two boys on her own. None of that could stop her passion to work with young girls.

Thoko and I met and planned a loose agenda for the year. And after I left to go back to the U.S.A., she faithfully met with the girls every Saturday afternoon. She led them in prayer, discussions, games and community service projects. She listened intently as the girls talked about things they would never discuss at home. And she intervened when she found out a male teacher was touching some of the girls inappropriately at school. She loved and mentored the girls well.

Thoko helping the girls with an art lesson.

Thoko (rt) helping the girls make “Dignity” packets.

When I returned and met with Thoko in January, I was prepared to hear her say that although it was a great year, she is burned out. But no. Thoko is ready to volunteer again for 2018.

I have always had such big dreams for Girls Talk. God size dreams. Dreams that don’t match up with the resources I have available. And I always believed if I wanted this program to grow, I would need to figure out how to pay a leader.

This is where our AWESOME GOD shows up big! As I mentioned in the previous post “Girls Talk”, YFC (Youth for Christ) has agreed to incorporate Girls Talk into their ministry programs. They believe it is such an important program that a full-time person should be running it.

So what does that mean for Thokozile? After meeting with her, the YFC immediately offered her the position! A full-time professional position. A career. A passion and dream fulfilled.

Like me, Thoko has God-size dreams. This was one of them. A chance to grow spiritually, intellectually and professionally. She excitedly seized the opportunity and accepted the position.

When we left the YFC, she wanted me to drop her off in town instead of driving her home. Her boys were just getting out of school, so she wanted to meet them at the taxi rank and ride home with them. She couldn’t wait to share the exciting news. As she got out of the car, she stood up tall, smiled and turned to me and said “Today I will walk down the street with my head held high.” I smiled through tears. I knew what she meant.

She will no longer be a “Servant”, but instead a “Servant Leader”.

Praise be to God for this awesome lady and this amazing opportunity! ~ Tracy Cooper

Sidenote… Because YFC is an NGO with a limited budget, employees need to raise most of their own support. Thoko will begin working on March 19, 2018 and her salary will be set at $385 U.S. per month. Yes, per month. If you feel called to help support Thoko’s salary monthly or with a one time gift, please click on the attached link and type “Thoko” in the comments. All donations are tax deductible and will go directly to cover her monthly salary.

https://mygiving.secure.force.com/GXDonateNow?id=a0Ui000000WKZkVEAX

Girls Talk

March 4, 2018March 27, 2019https://gingersnaps.wordpress.com3 Comments

“Nothing can dim the light that shines from within.” – Maya Angelou

Girl Scouts prepares girls to empower themselves and promotes compassion, courage, confidence, character, leadership, entrepreneurship and active citizenship. Why do I know this? Not only was I a Girl Scout growing up, I was a Girl Scout Leader for 12 years. Yes, you read that right. 12 years. Funny thing… all those years, I thought I was preparing girls for their future. Little did I know, the girls were preparing me for mine.

In the spring of 2015, I was truly struggling with whether or not I would return with the mission team to South Africa in January 2016. I love Knysna, South Africa. I had already been there twice. I have friends there. So why wouldn’t I go? Well, quite frankly, I was not feeling called to go along to work on a construction project. Am I being selfish? I know, I know … Sometimes we all need to do things we don’t want to do. But this was different. I REALLY didn’t want to go. I was prepared to have Kurt go without me.

Then God spoke to my heart. There is a reason I was a Girl Scout Leader all those years. It is time to share those types of experiences with the young girls in Knysna. Wow. That was it. I need to start some type of program for girls! The passion and desire to return to Knysna came flooding back.

I spent the next few months researching Girl Scouts/Girl Guides in South Africa. I hit nothing but roadblocks. I researched other programs, but I kept hitting roadblocks. I finally realized I just needed to be there in person to get things figured out.

Once I returned, I met with my friend Ella (I introduced her in “The Unprotected – Part 2”). She too agreed that there was a great need for a program for girls in the township. Knowing that leadership would need to come from within, I had Ella round up a group of women to hear what I was proposing. I explained how I want girls to learn how to empower themselves. To have compassion, courage, confidence, character, leadership, entrepreneurship and active citizenship (Sound like Girl Scouts?). And most of all, I want them to become the women God has created them to be. Three women stepped up, agreeing to be the leadership team. So with a name, short agenda and a mission statement, we started.

The Girls Talk Mission Statement reads as follows:

Girls Talk provides programs to girls to help enhance their lives through educational, spiritual and entertaining subjects. Our goal is to help girls develop self confidence, life skills and career readiness as they grow to be the women God intends them to be.

Although we have had to tweak the focus of the group over the last two years, the mission statement has remained the same.

Year one was a true learning experience. Because of the need for such a program, 22 girls ages 11 – 21 showed up on the first day. Not wanting to turn anyone away, we allowed them all to join. Each Saturday following, 15 – 20 girls showed up. The leaders began to feel the difficulty of planning for such a variety of ages. It was hard to have discussions and activities that were appropriate for everyone.

So year two, January 2017, we opened Girls Talk to only Grade 7 girls. This age group was chosen, because Grade 7 is the last year of primary school. High school starts in Grade 8. It is our chance to catch these girls and instill in them self confidence and healthy life choices before they begin High School.

With the original leadership team burned out and no new leader in place for 2017, I continued moving forward. I met with the principal of the township primary school, who allowed me to send a flyer home with the Grade 7 girls. I invited them and their moms to an information meeting. Ten girls showed up, most with their moms. Also in attendance was a woman named Thokozile. I had not met her before. She has two sons, but was curious to hear about the group. She had a passion to work with girls, but did not know how to get a group started. After I explained the group to the moms and girls, all 10 girls committed to joining. Thoko loved the plan and volunteered to lead. And so it was, 2017 Girls Talk was set in motion!

Thoko and I met and planned an agenda for the year. And although she had a full-time job during the week, she faithfully met with the girls every Saturday afternoon.

The girls engaged in prayer, discussions, games and community service projects. They learned to cook, paint, bead, and screen print. They made cards and delivered them to people in the hospital at Easter. (This is not as easy as it sounds, as arrangements have to be made to hire a taxi to take the girls to town and back). They put together “Dignity packets” made up of sanitary pads for girls in their school. Many girls miss school monthly, as they cannot afford to purchase the necessary products.

unnamed-10 — Girls putting together “Dignity Packets”

The girls learned new things. Most had never participated in “community service” before. They loved it. And Thoko continued to build character with the girls through various discussions, games and activities.

Thoko helping the girls with an art lesson.

Beading

When I returned a couple of months ago (Jan. 2018), I met with Thoko to “debrief”. She loved volunteering with the girls so much, that she agreed to do it again this year.

Perfect. Just as I hoped. So I thought.

Something was still pressing on my heart to grow the program. I felt we needed to keep last year’s girls who are now Grade 8 and start a new Grade 7 group. This would give the girls the support they need their first year in High School now too. I quickly realized that this was not reasonable with our limited resources.

After much prayer, I met with the Director at Knysna Youth for Christ (YFC). I proposed that they take on Girls Talk as one of their ministry programs. And they agreed! This means we can reach Grade 7 and Grade 8 girls with much more programming. We will be able to reach girls in both the Xhosa and the coloured areas. This is my heart’s desire coming to fruition! (Please read my next blog as I explain what this means for Thokozile- God-size dreams).

I can’t explain in words the excitement I feel. The privilege to obey a calling from God and step back and watch it flourish! ~ Tracy Cooper

Sidenote… Because YFC is an NGO with a limited budget, all ministry programs need to raise the funds to support their ministry. If you feel called to help in the funding of Girls Talk, please click on the link below and type Girls Talk in the comments. All donations are tax deductible and will go directly to the support of this incredible program.

https://mygiving.secure.force.com/GXDonateNow?id=a0Ui000000WKZkVEAX