Gingersnaps

“Try not to get lost in comparing yourself to others. Discover your gifts and let them shine!” –Jennie Finch

Whenever we order water at a restaurant in South Africa, the question we are always asked is “Still or Sparkling?”

That got me to thinking…

Does God reveal himself to you in a still (quiet and reflective) or sparkling (exciting and exuberant) way?

It is probably safe to say that most of us have experienced both. There are times in our Christian walk when we are contemplative, seeking, listening, possibly even in a valley. Other times we are on the mountain top ready to shout the good news.

What about when you asked Christ into your heart? Did you experience a still, peaceful, quietness? Or did you experience a sparkling, life changing transformation?

I grew up in the United Methodist Church. And as is the tradition, my parents had me baptized as a baby and then I attended confirmation classes in middle school. Confirmation is a time to learn, reflect and choose for yourself whether you accept Christ as your personal savior.

I readily chose Christ, as I always believed. I don’t remember a time when I didn’t. So when confirming my faith in middle school, I did not experience a life changing, life altering, shall we say “sparkling” moment. It was just a matter of confirming my faith in public.

All was good.  I was confident in my faith. A stillness in my heart. And then, I heard some friends talk about the “day” they were saved.  They were born again. The exact date. The time. The place. The experience. Wow. It was such an eye opening, “sparkling” experience for them. And they will never forget it! They will remember that date forever.

Then the questions were asked of me. “When were you saved? When were you born again?”  Me? You mean an exact date? Well, I don’t know. Maybe my confirmation date? Is that when I was saved? Is that when I was born again? No; I don’t believe so. But at least it was the date I made my public profession of faith.  Hmm, if only I could remember that date. Then I would have an answer to these very awkward questions.

Over the years, those questions would cause me to doubt my salvation just a little bit each time I was asked. Am I “born again”? Am I “saved”? I have always believed. But I do not have a life changing, “sparkling” transforming experience to share. And I certainly do not have an exact date.  Hmm, if only I could remember that confirmation date.

I started to believe that I had to have a “sparkling” conversion experience in order to know I really had accepted Christ. I found myself asking Christ into my heart over and over again.  Whenever I attended youth events and everyone was invited to close their eyes and raise their hand to accept Christ, I would find myself raising my hand. Maybe this time I will experience that sparkling, overwhelming, earth shattering, life changing transformation. Then I would have a date and a story to share. But every time it was the same. A stillness of knowing Christ.

Then, as a young 20-something I attended a 4-day Christian Retreat. The weekend revolved around listening to 15 amazing talks presented by 15 different women. What I heard was so many awesome stories of how God transformed their lives. They were saved from so many different situations… alcoholism, drug addiction, abuse, neglect, bad marriages, failed relationships, etc. Their lives had completely changed when they accepted Christ. They had stories to share that would certainly help lead others to Christ.

Once again, I felt lost. What is my story? I have lived a good life. I grew up in a loving family.  Never got into any kind of trouble. Graduated from college. Got a good job. And on that retreat weekend, I was one month away from marrying the love of my life (Kurt).

I started to question myself again, “Am I really saved? Born again? Can I be if I have no story to share? No sparkling, life altering transformation?

Before that weekend was over, God revealed himself to me again in a still and quiet way and reminded me of my story. A very blessed life. A story of the grace, love and peace with which He covered me throughout my life.

I am thankful that my salvation story is one of stillness and peace. Now may my life story sparkle as Christ shines through me.  ~ Tracy Cooper