Growing up in the Township

“Freedom isn’t going through life unscathed, it’s choosing to not let what has hurt you bind you.” ~ Leo Christopher

As mentioned in my first blog, my hope this year is to share the stories of the people I have met in Knysna, South Africa. Circumstances and experiences have shaped all of us, helping to create OUR very own unique story. With the permission of my friends, I would like to share their stories with you. Some of the events are very sensitive, so I will often change the names to protect my friends.

Today’s story is being told to give you a glimpse into the types of things many young girls experience and endure living in a township in South Africa.

Meet Bulelwa…

Born in the Eastern Cape Province of South Africa in the city of Port Elizabeth (PE), Bulelwa grew up in a household that included her parents and two younger siblings. Her mother is Zulu and her father is Xhosa. And although her parents were never married, they lived as a family unit for several years. Her dad was a Police Officer and her mom had a job in a laundry mat. You may think that all sounds normal; but here in the townships it is an anomaly for both parents to be part of the household AND both to have jobs. Although they lived as a family unit, it was not always a happy one. Bulelwa’s dad is an alcoholic and often raged in anger against she and her mom. By the grace of God, her two younger siblings were spared his violence.

At age 15, Bulelwa was sent to live with and take care of her sick grandmother (Her dad’s mom) in another township. In the Xhosa culture, it is customary for parents to send their children to live with other relatives for various reasons. This can be due to such things as financial issues, hopes for a better chance in the area where a relative resides, taking care of a sick relative, and many other reasons. The point is this, many children in the townships do not live with their biological mom or dad. It can be typical for a child to be raised by a grandmother, aunt, cousin, etc. Bulelwa’s situation was no different.

So, as a 15-year old teenage girl, Bulelwa was expected to go to school and care for her grandmother. She was moved away from her mother, siblings and friends, attending a different school all together. This is a lot for a young teenager. Yet, she had no choice.

As she did what was expected of her, she came to find out that her uncle (her dad’s brother) had expectations of his own. He raped her. This lonely, scared young girl was raped by her uncle! This man, who should be helping to protect her while she is separated from her family and caring for HIS mother, raped her. Bulelwa was trapped and eventually became pregnant.

Just imagine a young teenage girl feeling helpless. Pregnant with a baby she does not want. She begged her mom to let her abort the baby or put it up for adoption, as she knew that every time she looked at the baby, she would be reminded of the horrific acts of her uncle. Her mother said “No” to both. She brought Bulelwa home and promised her that she would raise the baby as her own, and that Bulelwa could be her “older sister”. Once again, Bulelwa had no choice. She was only 16-years old and her mother would not sign the papers allowing her to give the baby up for adoption.

Well, things didn’t quite work out that way. Many times as a teenager, Bulelwa would want to hang out with her friends and her mother would tell her she couldn’t because she had a baby she must care for.

Due to the pregnancy, Bulelwa had to drop out and miss an entire year of school. A couple of years later she had to drop out and miss another year of school to care for her mom.

So… fast forward to 2014 when I met her. Bulelwa was 20-years old, in grade 11 and had a 3-year old daughter. Let that sink in… 20-years old, in grade 11 and had a 3-year old daughter. I know, this sounds like a hopeless situation. And at times I think it did to Bulelwa too. But God had greater plans for Bulelwa’s life. And although I have told you only SOME of the major roadblocks along her life journey, each one shaping her, creating her story; she has never let her circumstances define who she is.

Bulelwa is an OVERCOMER! She has not allowed the circumstances of her past to stop her from chasing her dreams. I am happy to tell you that she graduated High School in December 2015. She is now in her final year at South Cape College (a 3-year program), where she will graduate with a certificate of higher education in business. AND, THE BEST PART OF THE STORY… she loves her daughter more than anything in the world.

Our God is an awesome God! ~Tracy Cooper