Overcomer

“Every kid is one caring adult away from being a success story” ~ Annonymous

When I think back to the birth of my first child, I remember feeling so much love, hope, excitement and fear all at the same time. My heart was so full. I knew I would do anything for this sweet little baby. Love him. Feed him. Hold him. Teach him. PROTECT him. Yes, I think for most mothers, one of our strongest motherly instincts is to protect our child. If anyone tries to harm our little one, our “mother-bear” instincts surface. We are ready to protect our child at all costs. And for me, I was blessed to experience this with each of my four children!

Unfortunately though, this is not the case for many children in the township. They do not have a mom to protect them. Not necessarily because she is absent in body, but because she is absent in mind. Many are orphaned due to the unhealthy addictions plaguing the moms. (I say the moms, because quite frankly the fathers are rarely in the picture by the time the baby is born). These moms lose their “mother-bear” instinct to protect their baby when they allow their addictions to take over their lives. They choose alcohol, drugs and men over their sweet, innocent babies. And because of this self destructive behavior, the defenseless babies are left orphaned on the street.

Well this is the very sad and short ending to the life story of so many children. But for a few others, it isn’t. There is a woman of great faith, who lives in the township, and is determined to help write a new chapter in the life stories of many orphaned children. A chapter full of love, hope and faith. A new beginning. A new life. A new family.

I have known Ella for 4 years, and like many, she has a long story of her own. Today, however, I want to introduce to you the children God has helped Ella rescue throughout the township. Some she has found on her own, others have been brought to her by relatives of the children or social services.

The stories are brief, mostly because the children were so young when they arrived at Ella’s. Also, because of their young ages, many were too young to understand their full story.

Meet my friend Tracy:

I have known Tracy for the past 4 years. She and I had an instant connection because of our name. Unlike many other children, I could actually pronounce her name! Tracy is 9-years old now, but came to Ella’s (Lukhanyiso Safe House) at the young age of 3-years. She was brought to Ella by Child Protection Services after she and her younger brother Toffee were removed from their home. Tracy, a 3-year old innocent little baby was being sexually abused in her own home. Her mother was an alcoholic and could not function in a way to protect her baby.

Because of the violence she endured in her young life, Tracy did not transition easily into Ella’s care. She suffered from post-traumatic syndrome, and did not trust anyone. She was constantly screaming and crying. With love, prayer, tender care, counseling and time to begin healing, Tracy has become a happy, confident young lady. She attends Knysna Primary School in town where she is in grade 4. She is learning English and speaks it quite well for a 9-year old. Her favorite extra curricular activities are playing net ball and running sprints. She has always had the role of “drama queen” in the house, but as she matures she is slowly passing that role on to a younger “sister”.

Tracy stills suffers from fetal alcohol syndrome, but all in all, she is doing well. Her life story now has a new, more hopeful chapter.

Tracy

Tracy running track in yellow and blue

Tracy’s little brother is named Toffee. His given name is Fikile and he is 7-years old. When he and his sister, Tracy were brought to Lukhanyiso Safe House, Toffee was only 2-months old. He was filthy dirty and starving to death. A very sad and inexcusable situation for a helpless 2-month old baby. Ella took Toffee straight to the clinic to have him checked. Afterwards, she gently stripped him of his rags, gave him a nice warm bath (probably the first one in his 2-months of life, dressed him in clean clothes, fed him a warm bottle and cuddled him. Since that day, he has the mom every baby deserves. A mom to protect him. To love him. To guide him.

Toffee (nicknamed that, because Ella says he is so sweet), attends Knysna Christian Mission School. He is in Grade 1 and starting to learn English. He is a happy little guy with a lot of personality.

Toffee

Toffee Today

The next sibling pair is Beauty and Stephen…

Beauty is a thriving 9-year old little girl now. However, when she arrived at Ella’s house, she was possibly the most neglected child Ella had ever seen. At the age of 1-1/2 years old, this sweet little baby girl was found by a police officer in the street in the middle of the night. A baby with no name and no parents. He picked her up and brought her straight to Lukhanyiso Safe House for the night, where Ella named her Beauty. Six months went by before anybody in her family even started to look for her. And it was determined that she would stay living with Ella and her new family. During Beauty’s first year in Ella’s care, she was a very shy and withdrawn child. She never made one sound… no crying, no screaming, no laughing, no talking. Nothing. Ella would bring Beauty into her bed at night and hold her, but when Ella woke up, Beauty was off of the bed, curled up on the floor. It was obvious that she had very little attachment or bonding to a mom. But as time went on, Beauty came out of her little shell. She is a sweet young girl and attends Knysna Christian Mission School with many of her siblings. She too is learning to speak English. The reason I mention this with the children is because their native tongue is Xhosa. South Africa has 11 official languages, but all children must learn English.

Beauty

Beauty Today

Beauty at 1-1/2

Stephen is 4-years old and is Beauty’s little brother. They both have the same mom, but I really don’t know if they have the same dad. Both of Stephen’s parents are alcoholics. He was removed from their home when he was just 4-months old and brought to live with Ella in the Safe House. His and Beauty’s mom usually shows up drunk to the Safe House about every two years or so to try to see the kids. Stephen is a happy young little guy. He is learning English in the Mama Mia Preschool.

Stephen

Ella and Stephen

These are the stories of 4 of Ella’s children. She currently has 14 children living in her home and 12 more children for which she has taken on the financial reponsibility. Unfortunately every one of her children have similar stories. I will try to introduce you to a few at a time throughout my blogs.

Ella lives modestly in the township and has hired a small staff to help care for and transport the children. Her expenses run around $200 U.S. per child per month. This is for food, clothes, school uniforms, school tuitions, staff fees, etc.

She and her business partner Penny have opened a township tour company called Emzini Tours to try to help cover the expenses of the Lukhanyiso Safe House. With the needs so great, they are always looking for sponsors.

If you feel called to sponsor one of Ella’s children on a monthly basis, or make a one-time donation, please click on the link below and follow the steps. In the comments, type Lukhanyiso Safe House. All donations are tax deductible and will go directly to the care of Ella’s children. ~Tracy Cooper

https://mygiving.secure.force.com/GXDonateNow?id=a0Ui000000WKZkVEAX

“Freedom isn’t going through life unscathed, it’s choosing to not let what has hurt you bind you.” ~ Leo Christopher

As mentioned in my first blog, my hope this year is to share the stories of the people I have met in Knysna, South Africa. Circumstances and experiences have shaped all of us, helping to create OUR very own unique story. With the permission of my friends, I would like to share their stories with you. Some of the events are very sensitive, so I will often change the names to protect my friends.

Today’s story is being told to give you a glimpse into the types of things many young girls experience and endure living in a township in South Africa.

Meet Bulelwa…

Born in the Eastern Cape Province of South Africa in the city of Port Elizabeth (PE), Bulelwa grew up in a household that included her parents and two younger siblings. Her mother is Zulu and her father is Xhosa. And although her parents were never married, they lived as a family unit for several years. Her dad was a Police Officer and her mom had a job in a laundry mat. You may think that all sounds normal; but here in the townships it is an anomaly for both parents to be part of the household AND both to have jobs. Although they lived as a family unit, it was not always a happy one. Bulelwa’s dad is an alcoholic and often raged in anger against she and her mom. By the grace of God, her two younger siblings were spared his violence.

At age 15, Bulelwa was sent to live with and take care of her sick grandmother (Her dad’s mom) in another township. In the Xhosa culture, it is customary for parents to send their children to live with other relatives for various reasons. This can be due to such things as financial issues, hopes for a better chance in the area where a relative resides, taking care of a sick relative, and many other reasons. The point is this, many children in the townships do not live with their biological mom or dad. It can be typical for a child to be raised by a grandmother, aunt, cousin, etc. Bulelwa’s situation was no different.

So, as a 15-year old teenage girl, Bulelwa was expected to go to school and care for her grandmother. She was moved away from her mother, siblings and friends, attending a different school all together. This is a lot for a young teenager. Yet, she had no choice.

As she did what was expected of her, she came to find out that her uncle (her dad’s brother) had expectations of his own. He raped her. This lonely, scared young girl was raped by her uncle! This man, who should be helping to protect her while she is separated from her family and caring for HIS mother, raped her. Bulelwa was trapped and eventually became pregnant.

Just imagine a young teenage girl feeling helpless. Pregnant with a baby she does not want. She begged her mom to let her abort the baby or put it up for adoption, as she knew that every time she looked at the baby, she would be reminded of the horrific acts of her uncle. Her mother said “No” to both. She brought Bulelwa home and promised her that she would raise the baby as her own, and that Bulelwa could be her “older sister”. Once again, Bulelwa had no choice. She was only 16-years old and her mother would not sign the papers allowing her to give the baby up for adoption.

Well, things didn’t quite work out that way. Many times as a teenager, Bulelwa would want to hang out with her friends and her mother would tell her she couldn’t because she had a baby she must care for.

Due to the pregnancy, Bulelwa had to drop out and miss an entire year of school. A couple of years later she had to drop out and miss another year of school to care for her mom.

So… fast forward to 2014 when I met her. Bulelwa was 20-years old, in grade 11 and had a 3-year old daughter. Let that sink in… 20-years old, in grade 11 and had a 3-year old daughter. I know, this sounds like a hopeless situation. And at times I think it did to Bulelwa too. But God had greater plans for Bulelwa’s life. And although I have told you only SOME of the major roadblocks along her life journey, each one shaping her, creating her story; she has never let her circumstances define who she is.

Bulelwa is an OVERCOMER! She has not allowed the circumstances of her past to stop her from chasing her dreams. I am happy to tell you that she graduated High School in December 2015. She is now in her final year at South Cape College (a 3-year program), where she will graduate with a certificate of higher education in business. AND, THE BEST PART OF THE STORY… she loves her daughter more than anything in the world.

Our God is an awesome God! ~Tracy Cooper