“The tests we face in life’s journey are not to reveal our weaknesses but to help us discover our inner strengths. We can only know how strong we are when we strive and thrive beyond the challenges we face.”
― Kemi Sogunle

We all tend to wallow in our unfortunate circumstances at times.  It gives us a little time to feel sorry for ourselves, and maybe, just maybe, get others to feel sorry for us too.  But then, we must take the step to move on.  Pick ourselves up.  Dust ourselves off.  And continue to travel along this journey called life.

What happens if you live your life continuing to wallow instead of choosing to withstand?  You define yourself as the circumstance.  Everything you do, every decision you make, everything you see is through a tainted lens.  A perspective of … “well, this happened to me, so …”  And unfortunately, I believe life passes you by.

I have written the stories of many of my friends here in Knysna, South Africa.  So many tragedies.  So much poverty.  So many unfortunate circumstances.  However, I love being able to share how many have overcome and withstood the test of this life.  They don’t wallow in their circumstance nor allow it to define them.  Instead, they learn from it, overcome it, withstand it and move forward.  When I have them read their story in writing, they are amazed at all that they have truly withstood over the years.

Today, I’d like to introduce Dyllan.  I met him 2-years ago when he was participating in the “Hands and Heart” program sponsored by Youth for Christ.  He has wanted me to write his story since the first day I met him.  “Why?”, I wondered.  Everyone else is so reluctant to share their stories.

(*Sidenote – “Hands and Heart” is a 1-year skills training program.  Boys who have dropped out of school are given the opportunity to learn basic construction skills and welding.  They attend class 4-days per week for the entire year.  From there, men in the community work on the boys’ behalf to help them secure jobs.)

When you read this young man’s story, it is obvious he has suffered through many serious health issues.  No doubt.  But you, the reader, must decide for yourself whether you think he will choose to wallow or withstand…  Will he allow his circumstances to define who he is?  Or will he push through?

Dyllan Muller, the ever smiling 21-year old, was born and raised in the Hornlee area of Knysna, in the Western Cape of South Africa.  Hornlee is home mostly to the “Coloured” residents of Knysna.  You can read a little bit more about the history of apartheid and designated living areas in “What is a South African “Township””.

Dyllan’s parents brought their baby boy home to their ever-growing family back in 1998.  He was their third child joining a 3-year old brother and 5-year old sister.

Within 7 months of his life, he was diagnosed with kidney failure in both kidneys and placed on dialysis immediately.  A 7-month old baby on dialysis.  This became this little baby’s life.  Traveling back and forth to Cape Town (a 5-hour drive away) to receive treatment at a much more equipped hospital.

By the time Dyllan reached age 3, his father walked out on the family.  A story like so many others.  Dyllan remembers his dad yelling at his mother often and believes he struggled with alcohol addiction. 

So there they were.  A single mom left to raise three young children on her own… one who was very ill.  A child she must travel often with to Cape Town for treatments.  And two she must leave behind each trip.

Throughout the years, Dyllan received Peritoneal Dialysis.  He was either in the hospital in Cape Town or sent home with a machine.  This worked for a couple of years until he developed a terrible abdominal infection at the age of 5.

(The most common problem with peritoneal dialysis is peritonitis, a serious abdominal infection.  This infection can occur if the opening where the catheter enters your body becomes infected or if contamination occurs as the catheter is connected or disconnected from the bags. Infection is less common in catheters, which are placed in the chest. Peritonitis requires antibiotic treatment by your doctor. – nationalkidneycenter.org)

In order to treat the peritonitis, Dyllan was placed on strong antibiotics. He was then switched to Hemodialysis, where they inserted a catheter into his neck while he continued to wait for a kidney transplant.

During the course of his treatments, Dyllan’s hearing declined.  He tried to keep up with school.  It was tough.

By grade 5, Dyllan was 12 years old and his health was failing drastically.  He missed the entire year of school as he was in and out of the hospital.  He finally received a kidney transplant in 2011.  Things were looking up.

When he returned to school, the administration pushed him through grades 6 and 7.  He was not passing.  Not receiving the educational foundation he needed.  Still he was moved ahead.

While attending grade 7 at age 15, Dyllan’s hearing had declined so much that he had become completely deaf in both ears.  The doctors believe that it was caused by the intense antibiotics and treatments he received over the years.  This young kidney recipient was now deaf.

Learning of his story, a doctor in Cape Town suggested that Dyllan would qualify for a Cochlear Implant through Stellenbosch University’s Project Hope.  This meant that the surgery would be subsidized if Dyllan’s mom could raise R30,000 of the R189,00 needed (approx. $3,000 of $15,000).  This is a lot of money for most people, let alone a single mom working for minimum wage (approx. $12 per day… not per hour… per day).

Dyllan’s community heard of his need.  They showed up in a big way.  The students and faculty  at his school, Sunridge Primary, joined together to donate money.  The local newspaper printed an article asking for supporters.  It worked!  Dyllan received a Cochlear Implant in 2012 and can now hear in one ear.

Dyllan was happy he could hear again.  But going into the surgery as a 15-year old, Dylan knew nothing about Cochlear implants.  He had no idea that when he awoke from surgery, he would have a permanent small box attached to his head.  Nobody prepared him.  Now, 7 years later, he still won’t allow people to see it.  He wears a hat or headband at all times.

Everything should be fine now, right?  Not quite.  Dyllan was so far behind in school.  Even though he wasn’t passing, he kept getting pushed along, until he finally dropped out in Grade 10.

This decision left Dyllan with few choices of a future career.  A decision made by so many boys in the townships.  But then Dyllan got a break.  He was accepted into Youth for Christ’s “Hands and Heart Program”  where he learned basic construction skills.  He completed the program and secured a job.

A dream for many high school dropouts. 

Weeks after beginning his construction job, Dyllan quit.  Due to his previous health issues, he felt he really shouldn’t be doing heavy lifting.  Unfortunately he has not found another job in the past 2-years.

So, I ask you… Is he wallowing or is he withstanding?

I believe Dyllan is at a crossroads in his life.

Dyllan can either see himself as a boy who suffered kidney failure and lost his hearing.  Thus putting many conditions on possible jobs.  A boy who wants to tell his story so that others will feel sorry for him and continue to wallow in his circumstance.

OR

Dyllan can see himself as a successful kidney recipient who has had his hearing restored with a cochlear implant.  A young man with a second lease on life.  A person who has withstood the unfortunate circumstances life has given him and wants to tell his story to others to inspire them.

Only time will tell if Dyllan will wallow and let his unfortunate circumstance define who he is.  Or if he will withstand the test and see the blessings he has received.

The choice is his.