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Facing the Bullies

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“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

Were you ever bullied as a child? The person the other children knew would not fight back? I think if we are honest with ourselves, all of us at one time or another have been on the receiving end of a bully. And if you were lucky, you had a friend in your corner who stood up for you. Defended you. Protected you. Appeared stronger than you.

I have two sisters. My sister Grace Ann is 11 months older than me. Yes, only 11 months. And my sister Micki is five years younger than me.

Since Grace Ann and I were so close in age, we were for the most part, treated like twins. Some people called us “Irish Twins”. We shared everything. A bedroom. Clothes. Secrets. Activities/clubs. We even shared the same friends.

The main difference in our personalities was that Grace Ann was not a conflict avoider. I was! I was never secure enough in who I was to stand up for myself. And because of this, I would generally let the bullies defeat me. That is… unless Grace Ann was around. I knew if she was there, she would face and defeat the bully for me. She defended and protected me. She was always in my corner.

The funny thing is, Grace Ann is one of the friendliest people I know. She certainly isn’t intimidating in any way, shape or form. People love her. And they always have. However, if she thought I was being treated unjustly, and not standing up for myself, she assumed the role of “Big Sister” (remember she is only 11 months older than me). And let me tell you, you didn’t want to be on the receiving end of that.

I could list time after time that she stood up for me. Faced my bullies. But there are two in particular that are forever etched in my brain.

One of those times happened as we stepped off of the elementary school bus in our neighborhood. A boy, my age at the time (probably 8 years old), came up behind me, jumped on my back and started hitting me in the back of the head. To this day, I do not know why! I was shocked. I didn’t even try to defend myself. Grace Ann immediately jumped into action. She threw her books down, pulled him off of my back, pushed him to the ground and gave him a good tongue lashing (at least that is how I remember it). That boy ran home and NEVER bothered me again. Grace Ann would not allow that bully to defeat me.

Another incident that was so devastating to me was when we were in High School. We both were on the rifle line of a Drum and Bugle Corps. This small group within the drum corps considered itself to be the elite part of the color guard. The members seemed to feel entitled to do whatever they wanted. One of those things was drugs. They tried to pressure us to take part and when we wouldn’t they shunned us. The problem is, it didn’t stop there for me. Since I was the youngest and the smallest (and wouldn’t stand up for myself), they often bullied me. They made sure to constantly tell me I wasn’t good enough to be a part of this elite group. And they did everything they could think of to try to make me fail or quit.

Their tactics worked. I felt insecure and intimidated. I would have quit in a heartbeat, but I was trapped. You see, my dad was the Director. So no matter what, I was “stuck” in this organization for a year! He had no idea this was going on, and I certainly was not going to tell him. 

What this group didn’t count on was that my sister, who was also younger than the rest of the members, would come to my defense. When she realized that I was being bullied, she came to the rescue. Grace Ann had my back. She was always in my corner. She confronted the entire group! Spoke (maybe yelled) her peace. And once again defended and protected me from the bullies that were defeating me.

As a child, it was a good feeling to know that Grace Ann was always in my corner. Defending me. Protecting me. When I was not strong enough to face the bullies, she was.

As adults, we still experience bullies in life that we don’t feel strong enough to handle by ourselves. These bullies may be people, circumstances, or illnesses. Broken relationships. Unemployment. Toxic environments. Disobedient children. Addiction. The question is, where do we turn for help? Who will stand up for us? Defend us? Protect us?

Quite simply, the answer is Jesus. He cares. He loves us. And He is strong in our greatest weakness.

“For the Lord your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory.” – Deuteronomy 20:4 (NIV)

And in Psalm 18:32 we are reminded, “He fills me with strength and protects me wherever I go.”

How awesome is it to know that we can rest in the safety of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! Our Defender. Our Protector.

Jesus is in our corner. Call upon His name. He will help you stand firm against the bullies in life.

So I ask.. If God is for us, who can stand against us?

Getting a “Nudge” to Move Forward

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“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.”

― Albert Einstein

As we wrap up the Christmas season and move into January, I am still waiting for a Christmas gift to arrive that I ordered on December 11. When I ordered it, the store said it would arrive by December 19th. Tracking information shows that they shipped it out immediately as promised.

Thanks to this digital age, I have been able to track its progress. USPS shows that it left Tennessee on December 12 and travelled to a USPS facility in Maryland where it arrived on December 20. Since then, the tracking information only states “In Transit”. It has not yet shown a departure from that Maryland facility.

When I talked with someone at the Post Office in that district, they assured me that it is not lost and will make its way here. Eventually.

My daughter sent me a TikTok video that explains the situation perfectly. It shows a conveyor belt at the post office. Packages are moving smoothly along the belt. Upward and forward. Heading toward their intended destination. That is, except for one. This one package, although on the belt, is not moving forward. Instead, it has lost traction and is flipping topsy-turvy backwards over and over and over again in the same spot as the belt continues to move underneath it. All of the other packages pass it by. I really think that video was taken of my package! It’s “In transit” alright. Just not moving forward.

My hope is that another package on the conveyor belt will eventually give it a little nudge helping it to regain the traction it needs. Only then, will it continue to move forward and truly be in-transit toward its final destination.

This made me think of how the year 2020 was for many of us. We set our goals, jumped on the conveyor belt of life and started moving forward. We were in-transit. Then, in March, COVID hit and everything changed. Many people lost jobs. Sadly, some lost loved ones. Everybody started feeling isolated and out of touch with others. Parents were overwhelmed as they worked from home while helping their children with remote learning. 

So many circumstances caused us to lose traction. Our lives were thrown into a topsy-turvy spin. Moving, just not forward.  All of us? No. Others continued to move forward, passing us by on the conveyor belt of life.

What does this mean for 2021 when many of our circumstances remain the same? How do we get the traction we need to not just move, but move forward? What “nudge” will get us moving in the right direction again?

Here are my thoughts:

Pray. Spend time with the Lord in prayer. Ask for guidance, wisdom and direction. And hold on to this promise: “I alone know the plans I have for you, plans to bring you prosperity and not disaster, plans to bring about the future you hope for.” ~ Jeremiah 29:11 (Good News Translation)

Let friends help. Many people have taken 2020 in stride and discovered how to navigate this new normal with grace. Ask them to share what has worked for them and what hasn’t. “People learn from one another, just as iron sharpens iron.” ~Proverbs 27:17 (Good News Translation)

Believe you can move forward. You are not alone. God is on your side! “I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” ~ Philippians 4:13 (New International Version)

Set achievable goals. Dream big, but be realistic. Then work toward achieving these goals. “But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded.” ~ 2 Chronicles 15:7 (New International Version)

Are you ready for your life to stop spinning in a topsy-turvy manner as you ride the conveyor belt of life into 2021? Is it time to get the nudge you need to move forward?

Let me close with this: “So, what does all this mean? If God has determined to stand with us, tell me, who then could ever stand against us?” ~Romans 8:31 (The Passion Translation)

Now repeat the scripture replacing the last part with “What circumstance then could ever stand against us?”

Thank you God for giving us the “nudge” we need to be in-transit moving forward again.

~Tracy Cooper

Walking in the Warmth of the Sun

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“If there is no struggle, there is no progress.” ~Frederick Douglass

Anybody who knows me, knows that my preferred form of exercise is walking. I love to walk outside early in the morning. Often before the sun is even up. This is great in the spring, summer and fall months. But when the winter rolls in, it is impossible for me to get myself up early to walk. I will not go outside in the cold darkness. I find it unbearable.

I haven’t really had to worry about that the past several years, as Kurt and I have been blessed to spend our winters in South Africa. And because January, February, and March is summer in South Africa, I have been able to carry on with my morning walking routine.

This year, however, I made the decision not to return to South Africa. This means I will have to figure out how to deal with the winter months. I can assure you I will not get out of bed in the dark and cold of morning to go for a walk. Does that mean walking is off the table for the winter? Will I allow the dark, cold mornings to take away my joy of walking?

No. You see, what I have noticed is that regardless of the cold temperatures, if I just hang in there and wait until the sun comes out, what is unbearable in the dark becomes bearable in the light. Once the sun hits my face, a warmth comes over me that I cannot feel in the dark.

There are times in our life that feel cold and dark. Bad results from a health test. Turmoil in a relationship. Termination from a job. Financial crisis. A wayward child. Death of a loved one. So many things can leave us feeling scared, lost, sad. It can be a cold, dark place. One that is unbearable to us.

The good news is, the sun always rises! Just hang in there and wait. Then bask in its warm rays… A verse of scripture. Kind words from a friend. An unexpected phone call. New opportunities. A warm day in the middle of winter.

Does this mean all of our problems will go away? No. But it does mean we don’t have to walk in darkness. In John 8:12, Jesus says “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”  In other words, those who walk in the light have a presence of God inside of them.

Can you feel it now? The warmth of the Light.

Sink or Float

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“Lean on me when you’re not strong and I’ll be your friend, I’ll help you carry on…” ~ song lyrics by Bill Withers

Physics. Not one of my favorite subjects. However, I do remember the “Sink or Float” experiment as a young child.

Do you remember? The teacher would have a clear bucket on the table filled with water and several different items sitting next to it. As she held each item up she would ask the class, “Will this sink or float?” We would give our prediction, then she would drop the object into the water and we would watch expectantly. Hoping that our guess was right.

Stone, sink. Cork, float. Marble, sink. Rubber ball, float. Coin, sink. Lego, float. We may not have fully understood at the time why buoyant objects float and dense objects sink. But what we did realize right away was that no matter how many times she dropped that same object into the water, it consistently did the same thing. If it floated the first time, it floated every other time. If it sank the first time, it sank every other time.

So is it possible to help a sinking object float? Well yes, of course. But one of two things must happen. The object cannot remain the same. Something about it MUST be changed.

1. We can change the shape of the object. We know if we take a metal pipe and drop it into the water, it will sink to the bottom. However, if we take that same pipe, hammer it out to a flat piece of metal and bend it into the shape of a boat, it will float. 

2. We can attach the object to something that does float. Every time we drop a marble into the water, it will sink. But what if we take that same marble and put it on a piece of foam? It will float. By attaching it to something else that will float, the marble is able to float.

OK, so much for the physics lesson.

My question to you is this… In the midst of today’s “social distancing” procedures and “stay at home” order, are you floating? Or are you sinking? We are all being affected. Unfortunately though, while some people are able to float others are sinking.

If you are currently floating (still have a job, able to pay your bills, enjoying time at home with your family, etc), you will probably continue to float. You may experience a little bit of water flowing over top of you at times, but most likely you will rise back up to the top and continue to float. “I will praise you, Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all the wonderful things you have done.” ~ Psalm 9:1 (GNT)

If you are currently feeling like you are sinking (lost your job, isolated alone, lost a loved one, etc) there are actually ways to get you floating again. Just like the metal pipe and the marble, you can make a change and begin floating again.

1. Changing shape. Just breathe. Did you know that taking a very deep breath and completely filling your lungs with air will make the difference of whether a person will sink or float in water?  This changes the shape of your chest enough to make you float. Yes, that is all it takes… a deep breath and you will be able to float!

There may be many things in our life right now that are not in our control.  So let’s focus on what we can control (attitude, perspective, gratitude). Take a deep breath. Breathe in and let the Holy Spirit create a new shape in you. “This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Look! I am going to put breath into you and make you live again!” ~ Ezekiel 37:5 (NLT)

2. Attach yourself to something that floats. When someone is drowning in water, they can begin to float again if they reach out and hold on to the life preserver. You’ve got this! Reach out. Hold on. Jesus is your lifeline. Read the Scripture. Pray. “Rescue me, Lord, as you have promised; in your goodness save me from my troubles!” ~ Psalm 143:11 (GNT)

 Also, reach out and hold on to your friends who are “floating”. Ask and allow them to help. Right now, we all need to lean on one another. “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ.” ~ Galatians 6:2 (NIV)

These really are different times. We need more than ever to stand on the promises of God.  “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” ~ John 16:33 (NIV)

Breathe. Hold On … Float.

Still or Sparkling?

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“Try not to get lost in comparing yourself to others. Discover your gifts and let them shine!” –Jennie Finch

Whenever we order water at a restaurant in South Africa, the question we are always asked is “Still or Sparkling?”

water.jpeg

That got me to thinking…

Does God reveal himself to you in a still (quiet and reflective) or sparkling (exciting and exuberant) way?

It is probably safe to say that most of us have experienced both. There are times in our Christian walk when we are contemplative, seeking, listening, possibly even in a valley. Other times we are on the mountain top ready to shout the good news.

What about when you asked Christ into your heart? Did you experience a still, peaceful, quietness? Or did you experience a sparkling, life changing transformation?

I grew up in the United Methodist Church. And as is the tradition, my parents had me baptized as a baby and then I attended confirmation classes in middle school. Confirmation is a time to learn, reflect and choose for yourself whether you accept Christ as your personal savior.

I readily chose Christ, as I always believed. I don’t remember a time when I didn’t. So when confirming my faith in middle school, I did not experience a life changing, life altering, shall we say “sparkling” moment. It was just a matter of confirming my faith in public.

All was good.  I was confident in my faith. A stillness in my heart. And then, I heard some friends talk about the “day” they were saved.  They were born again. The exact date. The time. The place. The experience. Wow. It was such an eye opening, “sparkling” experience for them. And they will never forget it! They will remember that date forever.

Then the questions were asked of me. “When were you saved? When were you born again?”  Me? You mean an exact date? Well, I don’t know. Maybe my confirmation date? Is that when I was saved? Is that when I was born again? No; I don’t believe so. But at least it was the date I made my public profession of faith.  Hmm, if only I could remember that date. Then I would have an answer to these very awkward questions.

Over the years, those questions would cause me to doubt my salvation just a little bit each time I was asked. Am I “born again”? Am I “saved”? I have always believed. But I do not have a life changing, “sparkling” transforming experience to share. And I certainly do not have an exact date.  Hmm, if only I could remember that confirmation date.

I started to believe that I had to have a “sparkling” conversion experience in order to know I really had accepted Christ. I found myself asking Christ into my heart over and over again.  Whenever I attended youth events and everyone was invited to close their eyes and raise their hand to accept Christ, I would find myself raising my hand. Maybe this time I will experience that sparkling, overwhelming, earth shattering, life changing transformation. Then I would have a date and a story to share. But every time it was the same. A stillness of knowing Christ.

Then, as a young 20-something I attended a 4-day Christian Retreat. The weekend revolved around listening to 15 amazing talks presented by 15 different women. What I heard was so many awesome stories of how God transformed their lives. They were saved from so many different situations… alcoholism, drug addiction, abuse, neglect, bad marriages, failed relationships, etc. Their lives had completely changed when they accepted Christ. They had stories to share that would certainly help lead others to Christ.

Once again, I felt lost. What is my story? I have lived a good life. I grew up in a loving family.  Never got into any kind of trouble. Graduated from college. Got a good job. And on that retreat weekend, I was one month away from marrying the love of my life (Kurt).

I started to question myself again, “Am I really saved? Born again? Can I be if I have no story to share? No sparkling, life altering transformation?

Before that weekend was over, God revealed himself to me again in a still and quiet way and reminded me of my story. A very blessed life. A story of the grace, love and peace with which He covered me throughout my life.

I am thankful that my salvation story is one of stillness and peace. Now may my life story sparkle as Christ shines through me.  ~ Tracy Cooper